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How to talk dirty with your partner?

How to talk dirty with your partner?

You may think that a picture is worth a thousand words, but the lover's voice in the bedroom can lead, make you closer and add a new element of fantasy and communication to intimate life. 

woman talking on phone

Imagine the partner’s voice in the telephone receiver when you are far apart, or at the moment of passion, whispering those dirty or tender words that you always wanted to hear. Goosebumps will immediately run through your body!


All 5 senses participate in sex, but very often we forget about its sound component. During sex, it is natural to touch, see, taste and smell each other, but in order to make any sound, sometimes you need to make an effort on yourself. 

And, as we know, sex is the work of not only the body, but also the mind. If you talk with a partner while making love, you can excite him or her faster and stronger than it was before.

If you have never experienced the power of your voice on a partner, we highly recommend doing this. 

However, you need to remember some nuances! Many women like it when they talk dirty in bed, but surveys show that they are also often shy when partners praise their bodies or actions during sex. 

To help deal with these subtleties, we suggest you do this in 4 steps. And do not forget about the most important thing - never rehearse in advance what you intend to tell your partner in bed! Turn on the fantasy to sound natural, forget about your taboos and believe in those that your lover will like your sincerity.

woman holding flower

Dirty talk or secret thoughts

Let's figure it out. “I want you to touch me here because it turns me on” is a phrase to excite a partner, and: “I love you so much that it hurts me every minute when we are not together” is an intimate thought expressed aloud. 

Both techniques can be useful in sex. Which one to choose depends on you, the partner and the desired effect.

Dirty talk often ends with wild sex and violent fantasies. Expressing innermost thoughts can make sex more emotional and passionate. If you tell your partner vulgar things, you can find out what you would like to try in bed, and with the help of secret thoughts you can show your concern for a partner outside of everyday life. 

Just remember that what is said in the bedroom continues to be valid the next morning! Do not tell your lover that you cannot be without him or her if you are planning to escape early in the morning. 

Conversations during sex can establish communication, and you should not say something that you would not say at another time.

How brave are you? How to become a master of dirty talk in 4 stages

Are you ready to break the silence in bed? Perhaps you are not sure how your partner will react to this, or you do not know if you have the guts to do it. Try to follow this 4-step instruction without missing a single point.

Stage 1: read aloud something erotic.

The simplest thing is to say aloud the words of others. If you are not yet ready to share your fantasies with your partner, then get an erotic book and try reading it in the bedroom. Read aloud and watch your partner react. If he likes it, then suggest taking a book and choosing the next story to read. Or you yourself can compose a story to read it aloud to each other!

blackboard feedback word


Stage 2: send a call to work

So, you want to tell your lover everything that is on your mind, but are afraid of being embarrassed and ruining everything? And what do you think, why were the phones invented? 

The phone can become a convenient erotic tool. Imagine how your partner sits at his desk and counts minutes until the end of the working day. 

Call and tell me what you want to do with him or her, how you are going to caress him or her at home, let him pretend that he is worried about working matters. Here are some tips for a perfect erotic call:

• Do not call before lunch! Hunger and intimate conversations are poorly combined.

• Describe your sexual fantasies step by step.

• If you are not shy, then tell your partner what you are doing while talking to him. And this should not be a story about how you pick your mouth with a toothpick.

• Turn off the TV and radio! Your partner is unlikely to like music or conversations in the background of your fantasies. You need to make sure that there are no sounds in the background, during this call you don’t have to do anything else, otherwise your partner will decide that you are doing this while wiping the refrigerator.

• Do not make promises that you cannot fulfill! Do not talk on the phone that you want something that you are not really ready for. This is dishonest and will beat off all desire in the evening, especially if the partner was looking forward to something special.

• Play some nice music or wear sexy clothes to feel good.

Stage 3: partner body assessment

If you coped with the previous two steps or are sure that the lover is ready for vulgarity in the bedroom, then it's time to talk. But start gradually, if the partner is not used to the sound of the voice in bed, then it is better to start with compliments so that he relaxes and feels comfortable. 

Say how you like different parts of her or his body, eyes, eyes during sex and aroma. Praise everything you really like and accompany compliments with caresses and kisses. Remember that the partner may be embarrassed, so be alert, watch his reaction. Does he or she get excited or giggle and feel uncomfortable? 

With a positive reaction, you can safely continue, but if you are not sure, you can always ask. A simple question like: “Do you like what I'm saying, or should I stop?”, Whispered in your partner’s ear will not only show your concern, but also give all the necessary information. Most likely, your lover will be fascinated and excited.

Stage 4: nowhere is dirtier.

You need to go to this stage only if you are 100% sure that the partner is ready. It's time to say really dirty things. 

And while it’s better to use words that will turn you both on. If you like expressions harder, then use them. But if you like something simpler, then this is also good. And here's what you need to talk about:

•  “What am I going to do.” This is a very popular technique. You tell your partner what you will do with him before you begin the action, for example: "I will gently bite your neck." This technique makes it possible to know what will happen next, and works especially well when the partner closes his eyes.

•  “What am I doing.”This is a variant of the previous method, but in it you talk about what you are doing right now. You will be surprised how much more erotic it is to caress the body of a partner, if at the same time voice your actions.

•  “What should I do.” What is the easiest way to find out about the desires of a partner in bed? Ask a question: “Tell me, how do you want?” - and you will learn all about his or her desires.

•  “What I feel.” Sometimes a lover is aroused even more if he knows what is happening to you. Start with a simple: “I feel so good with you” and continue in the same vein.

The most important thing is to remember that such conversations should be comfortable and exciting for both partners. 

Pay attention to the reaction of the lover, and you will understand how far you can go. Forget that silence is gold, a few words will not hinder orgasm!

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