One night sex.How to make it unforgettable?
It is possible that for you the ideal scenario for casual sex looks something like this: you and your really hot stranger or sexual partner tear off each other’s clothes, noisily and passionately reach several orgasms and part in a great mood.
If everything was so simple ... 41% of the people polled during the study of the blog “Adam and Eve” said that they had random sex, but there were very good chances that the reality would be different from fantasies and the world of sex would turn out to be partners less pleasant side.
So, experts tell how to identify and eliminate moments of awkwardness, engaging in casual sex.
“I want to sleep alone”
You can relate to a joint orgasm, but a common bed is a completely different matter. Wherever sex takes place - at your place of residence or elsewhere, there are polite ways to either leave on your own or, without offense, tell your partner that this is all for today.
“Discuss this point before sex,” says a New York sex therapist and author of the book, But What About Me? Don't let selfishness ruin your relationship, ”PhD Jane Greer. “Explain that you need a good night's sleep, and you want to warn him about it in advance.”
Say that you need a good night's sleep because of the many things to do the next day, meeting with your girlfriend at breakfast, or an early visit to the doctor.
Any valid reason will do. When you want to end the meeting, do not lie that you need to walk the dog, from the outside it will look like an extremely unfortunate fantasy.
There is another option for the development of the situation (equally potentially awkward) - it is he who explains why he should leave you immediately after sex. For you, this may be a hint that random sex can cause you more emotions than you are ready to handle.
“If you really strive for a one-time love affair, such moments should not play any role,” says the author of Cedi Ellison, the author of the book “Secrets of the clitoris - touching the fingers for the orgasm that every woman wants”. “If you feel in danger or think you are being used, then probably random sex is not for you.”
You are in bed, your hands are eagerly wandering around your partner’s body, and you both breathe as if you had just completed the marathon. Only one problem - not a hint of an erection. Instead of blaming yourself, take note that the penis is a rather mysterious organ.
“All guys have periods in their life when they cannot achieve an erection, which may be due to nervousness from sexual contact or any other reason,” Sedi says. You can say something unobtrusive and funny, for example: “Well, it doesn’t matter, we can enjoy it in other ways,” and then demonstrate what you mean.
Allison recommends warming each other with a massage , allowing him to give you oral pleasure or bring it to orgasm with your hands.
Unrest due to sexually transmitted diseases
Safe sex above all. Perhaps talking about sexually transmitted diseases is not the sexiest topic in the world, but in reality, monitoring your health is one of the most important tasks for a woman.
By following certain rules, you will demonstrate that you are a knowledgeable, intelligent and sexy person.
However, some awkwardness may be present. “Some discomfort can be avoided by adding game elements to sex,” Sedi says. She recommends mentioning one of the tested sayings about safe sexual intercourse like: “No condom - no sex,” with a playful smile alluding to all the pleasure you can get as soon as your partner puts on a condom.
You can choose a more direct path, telling when you last tested, and what were the results, and then ask him to share his information. If he begins to move away from the answer or wants to give up protection, then this may be a signal for the termination of sexual relations.
Discomfort in sex
So, the conversation about safe sex went without a hitch, his penis is so hard that it can break the glass, and you are immersed in the world of sex with pleasure. But there is one difficulty: he caresses the inside of the hips instead of the clitoris or moves with such force that, as you think, he wants to pierce you through.
“The way you solve these problems depends on how flexible you want to be,” Cedi says. “If he tries, you don’t like it, but you know that this is the first and last sex with him, you can do everything you need to make him finish faster.” In addition, you are quite entitled to pause, apologizing, to leave for the bathroom, and then return with explanations of why you or he needs to leave right now, for example, you suddenly felt ill.
If this decision is the most comfortable for you, take it without a doubt.
If you are determined to have a good time in bed, give him the necessary guidance. “Take responsibility for your own desires and instruct him,” notes Jane Greer.
A conversation will help you, during which, for example, you can tell in what places of your body you would like to feel his touch, or you can just take his hand and show how it is done. “If he doesn’t respond or does not follow your prompts, you can exit the game,” says Jane. But if he is ready to learn, then in the future you will have great sex without any obligation.
With random sex, there is a certain risk. If you meet a man who can make your every sex a real holiday, then in the end you will see him for sexual intercourse, ignoring all his shortcomings. “You need to deal with this somehow, otherwise the situation can get out of control and cause you pain,” Ellison is sure.
One option is to break the relationship before it has gone too far, but sometimes it’s impossible to do it if you don’t know if it feels the same way. “You can start a conversation about it and ask what happens if any of your feelings starts to change,” says Jane. “You should not say so directly, just give a hint to understand if he is ready for something more serious.”
You can also offer something more than what the two of you are used to, for example, dine before regular friday sex. “This is a great way to let you know you would like to spend more time with him,” Cedi notes.
Well, if your relationship needs to be put to an end, then remember that a bitter truth is better than a sweet lie. Be honest if you are only interested in random relationships. “Say you're very flattered, but not ready to share your feelings, and maybe it's time to stop and stop meeting,” explains Jane Greer.
After a conversation, he may come to the conclusion that he still wants to continue a casual relationship, even if he begins to fall in love. If your man speaks of a broken heart, you can stand your ground, because the relationship has developed into something unexpected for you.
Well, if you still decide to continue them, then at least know that you are not deceiving him.